


Bit by Little Bit

by kho



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 15:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6663970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kho/pseuds/kho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t have a fucking problem, Steve,” Danny says, turning in his seat to face him.  “But you sure do, not that you’re going to be an adult about it and actually address it rather than be a teenage girl and passive aggressively snipe at me.”</p><p>Set post the latest episode, 6x21?  This fic is basically me figuring out what's been going on with the bitterness etc of McDanno this season, and I'll warn you it starts off rough, because sometimes you gotta fight through something to get to it.  Just a bit of catharsis for me about the boys.  Gotta fix 'em!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bit by Little Bit

“You wanna go grab dinner?”

Danny looks over at Steve and quirks an eyebrow, lets out a snort of derision.  “You know what, I’m good.  Just take me home.”

Steve’s fingers tighten on the wheel.  “What’s your problem?”

“My problem,” Danny says, tilting his head to the side.  “My problem he says.  Yes.  What is my problem?   _My_ problem.”

Steve looks over at him.  “Uh, yeah, that’s what I said. You wanna let me know?”

“I don’t have a fucking problem, Steve,” Danny says, turning in his seat to face him.  “But you sure do, not that you’re going to be an adult about it and actually address it rather than be a teenage girl and passive aggressively snipe at me.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

Steve wrinkles his nose.  “You’re calling _me_ a girl?”

“So this is the part where you tell me I’m the girl, and I’ve got my panties in a wad,” Danny says, rolling his hand through the air.  “Go on, get it out there.”

“What’s your _problem_ , Danny,” Steve grits out.

“You,” Danny yells, facing him even more full on, even as Steve speeds up and passes three cars on the shoulder of the road like a crazy person even though there’s no reason they should be in a rush.  “You are my problem, you!  You’re acting like a dick to me lately, and I don’t fucking get it.”

“I’m acting like a dick to _you_ ,” Steve yells, pointing at himself and then at danny.  “Me?”

“Yes,” Danny snaps, jabbing his finger into Steve’s shoulder.  “You.  Acting like a dick.  Yes you are!”

“How?”

“How?”  Danny spreads his hands out.  “How?  Let me count the ways, my friend!”

“Count them,” Steve yells back, glaring at him.  “Go ahead!”

“Okay, today, remember say, two hours ago,” Danny says, flinging his thumb backwards from where they’ve been coming from.  “You bitching me the fuck out for remaining silent and then bitching me the fuck out for voicing my opinion.”

Steve grits his teeth and shakes his head.  “Because you were being a jerk.”

“How?!”

“Adam has not done anything to you to earn your distrust,” Steve says.  “EVerything he’s done has been to protect Kono--”

“Are you kidding me,” Danny yells, his hands flying out.  “Are you kidding me with this, he hasn’t done anything?  He hasn’t… babe, _Kono herself_ doesn’t know if she trusts him!”

“That’s her business,” Steve says.  “Not ours.”

Danny covers his face with his hands.  “What are you talk…  I care,” he yells, laughing out of pure frustration.  “I _care_ , okay, I _care_ if he’s fucking her over, I care if he’s doing shit that’s going to put her in trouble again, she ran all around Japan for months with god damned ninjas at her back and almost got killed God knows how many times for that man!” He smacks Steve on the shoulder.  “She got a fucking tooth pulled out of her God damned mouth by Gabriel to coerce Adam, who’s to say that Gabriel’s not pulling that shit again, you don’t know what Gabriel’s doing, no one does!  We don’t know what he said, I’m not saying Adam is a horrific guy, Steve, I’m saying I don’t find it hard to believe that he might make a stupid decision if he thinks it’ll keep Kono safe!”

“What do you even know about it,” Steve grouses, looking away, and Danny clocks that they’re within three miles of his house.  “It’s not like you’ve even been here to know what’s going on.”

“What,” Danny asks, face screwing up in confusion.  “What did you say?”

“I said you’re not even here anymore,” Steve yells, turning down Danny’s street.  “So what the fuck do you know about any of it!”

“What are you talking about,” Danny yells, leaning towards him.  “You tell me.  Kono told me herself that she’s afraid he told Gabriel yes to protect her.  I know what’s….”   He pauses and leans back.  “That’s.  This is about that.”

“What’s about what,” Steve says, pulling into Danny’s driveway and cutting the engine.  

“Me not being here,” Danny asks, face scrunching up.  “You’re pissed, because I’ve been gone.”

“You’re my partner Danny, I used to have a partner I could rely on,” Steve says through gritted teeth.  “You’re gone more than you’re here these days and when you are here, you’re still gone.”

“Wow,” Danny says quietly.  “I don’t even.”  He pauses, shaking his head and looking forward, chewing on the inside of his cheek silently.  “Wow.”

Steve’s shoulders slumped.  “Look, Danny.”

“I mean,” Danny says, holding up his hand.  “Do you need… do you really need a reminder?”  He turns to face Steve.  “Because, in case you’ve forgotten, I’ve kind of had my life torn apart just the tiniest bit the past few months, pal, so, ya know…. Yeah, I’ve been torn in several directions at once.  Just a little.”

Steve hangs his head forward and reaches up to pinch at the bridge of his nose.  “Danny.”

“No, because, I don’t know if you remember that,” Danny says, reaching over and putting his hand on Steve’s shoulder in mock sympathy.  “Seeing as how upset you are that I’m not around all the time and you, apparently, can’t rely on me.”

Steve sighs and then Danny jerks off his seatbelt and slams the door open to the car, stumbling out and slamming it shut behind him and stalking up the drive to the house.  Steve closes his eyes and rests his head back against the seat back and tries to decide if he’s going to have this fight now or if he’s going to leave Danny’s keys in the console and just get straight in his truck and go home.

He lets himself in and follows the sounds of cups slamming into the kitchen where Danny has two beers pulled out at the counter and is loudly unloading his dishwasher.

“Danny”

“The fuck do you want from me,” Danny growls, freezing but not turning around, a cup halfway out of the dishwasher but not yet deposited on the counter.  “Huh?  I got the FBI on my Mom’s back on one hand and a kid I didn’t know existed for three years on the other.  I only got two fucking hands, Steven, I’ve only got two, okay, but oh, by the way,” he says, spinning around to glare at Steve.  “The kid’s sick, and he’s in and out of the hospital and in and out of doctors appointments and I gave him my bone marrow so _he wouldn’t die_ and he calls me Daddy but he calls Stan that too because he doesn’t know what the fuck is going on, but, I’m not here for you.  I’m not there.  I’m not reliable.”

"Look I know you’re going through things,” Steve says gently, taking a step forward but coming to a stop by the hurt and angry look Danny gives him.  “But you're supposed to turn to your friends and let them help you not fucking hide like a god damned coward."

Danny’s mouth hangs open.  “Coward.”  He nods, swallowing and propping himself up against the counter behind him.  "Wow, Steve.”

“Not…”  Steve shakes his head, “I didn’t mean coward, I just meant, stop going away.  Stop leaving.”

“Wow,” Danny repeats.  “Your understanding disposition really rocks me, to my core man.  Really."  

Steve slams his hand against the counter in frustration.  “God, Danny!  I've been trying! I’ve been trying to pull you back in!  For you _and_ for me, because maybe I need a friend too, but you don’t let me!"

“You’re trying to pull me back in,” Danny yells, hands going out again.  “By being a dick, you’re trying to pull me back in?  By lashing out at me!”

“I booked a fucking couples retreat for us, Danny,” Steve yells, “and okay fine, I screwed up and booked us _couples_ retreat instead of partners, but God damn, Danny, I was trying to get us help, I was trying to get us back to where we’re supposed to be but all you did was bitch and moan and complain leading up to it and bitch and moan and complain while we were there!”

“Excuse me?  You literally…”  Danny pauses and laughs, pushing off of the counter and talking over to him.  “You _literally_ sprained my fucking ankle so you could get _laid_ that weekend!”

“I didn’t get laid, Danny, God,” Steve says, throwing up his hand and pacing back and forth.  “God, I was trying to set up a nice weekend, I wanted you to come with us!   We were supposed to have fun together.”

“So you set up a double date when you know I’m already seeing someone,” Danny asks, giving Steve a crazy look.  “What the hell--”

“For fucks sake it wasn’t about the women, I didn’t care about the women,” Steve yells, gesturing at Danny. “I just wanted you to come to with me and have some fucking fun, i miss having fun with you!”

“Which explains so well why you came back to our room looking like she’d ripped your lips off your face.”

“Yeah,” Steve yells, sitting down on a bar stool.  “Yeah, I made out with her, you didn’t come Danny.  You didn’t come no matter how many times I asked no matter how many pictures I sent.”

Danny laughs.  “Oh yeah, you mean the pictures you sent me of her with her hands down your pants basically, to rub in my face that you were getting laid and I wasn’t?”

“I didn’t fuck her, Danny,” Steve yells, “And it was meant to entice you to come out and join us.  God damn, I woulda sent the girls away if that’s what you wanted all you had to do was tell me that!”

Danny puts his hands up.  “I’m not gonna stand in the way of your good time.”

“Yes, you did, Danny,” Steve yells back, “that’s exactly what you did when you decide to mope in the motel room instead of come out with me and have a good time!”

“I was in a bad place,” Danny yells.   “I’m still in a bad place!  I’ve _been_ in a bad place!  When I am in a bad place, I bring the people around me down with me, so yeah, yes, I stayed home!”  He shrugs and shakes his head.  “So you could go and have a good time!”

“I didn’t want to go have fun with them, Danny, I wanted to have fun with you,” Steve says, getting up and walking over to Danny.  “I miss you, man!  I miss your smile, I miss your laugh!”  He gestures.  “I miss your sarcasm and your sense of humor and the way you always take me down a notch and somehow make me enjoy it instead of pissing me off.  I miss this face,” he says, reaching up and grabbing Danny’s face in his hands tightly.  “I fucking miss you man!”

Danny swallows and looks up at him, a lump in his throat.  “So say that,” he says, reaching up and folding his hands over Steve’s arms, holding them there.  “Say that, do you know how much that would’ve meant to me?”

Steve takes a deep breath and locks eyes with Danny.  “I didn’t know how to.”

“Well you just did,” Danny says softly.  “You say it like that.  Just like that.  Because I have felt so fucking alone, man.”

Steve frowns.  “Why, I’m right here.  I’ve been right here.”

“Because,” Danny says, still soft, so soft.  “Because you’ve got your own shit and I don’t need to pile on your sht with my shit.”

“Your shit _is_ my shit, my shit is your shit, I thought we settled that forever ago, Danny,” Steve says back, thumb brushing over Danny’s cheek.  He doesn’t know why he hasn’t let go yet, only knows he doesn’t want to.  “It felt like you were leaving me, Danny.  Bit by little bit, packing your shit up to leave me.”

Danny’s hands clench tighter on Steve’s forearms.  “I’m not going anywhere.”

“No but you would,” Steve says, looking down and away, letting his hands fall from Danny’s face as he takes a step back.  “You would leave me.”

Danny lets out a breathe.  “I’m not leaving you”

Steve shakes his head.  “Not now, no, not right now.  But you can’t promise you won’t.  If Grace needed you to.  If Charlie did.”

“I’m not leaving you,” Danny says, stepping forward, close again, but not touching him.

Steve takes a deep breath but can’t move any further away, backed up against the counter, arms crossed.  “But you would!”

“Not by choice,” Danny yells, reaching out and hooking a finger in one of Steve’s belt loops.  “Not if I had a fucking choice.”

“But you’d still leave, Danny.”

Danny lets out a breath.  “What, am I supposed to say?  No?  Am I supposed to choose you over my fucking kids Steve?”  He shakes his head, hands spreading wide.  “There is no one i would choose over my fucking kids.  No one.  I love you, but no.  I’m sorry, but no.”

“I know.”

“So what do you want from me,” Danny asks, his finger back in Steve’s beltloop, his other hand grasping Steve’s folded over forearm.  “Huh?  What do you want?”

“I just,” Steve says, looking into Danny’s eyes. “I want.  I just want…”

“What,” Danny whispers, stepping closer.  “What, Steve, tell me what you want.”

Steve grabs the front of Danny’s shirt, pulls him tight up against him.  “For you to take me with you,” he says against Danny’s mouth, closing his eyes.  “If you have to leave, if the day comes that you have to go, take me with you, always take me with you.”

“That’s what this has been,” Danny asks, close enough that his lips brush just the slightest bit over Steve’s as he whispers back.  “This is you leaving me before I leave you, that’s what this has been?”

Steve breathes in and can taste the coffee on Danny’s breath.  “I don’t know, Danny, just don’t leave me okay?”

“Okay,” Danny says, and then leans just that little bit in and kisses him, sealing his mouth to Steve’s in a kiss he hadn’t even known he’d wanted until God, it was just right there for the taking.  “I love you.”

“Love you,” Steve says, and kisses Danny again, hand coming up to wrap around the back of Danny’s head and hold him still against him.  “I’m sorry I’ve been a dick.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t been here.”

“Not your fault.”

Danny smiles against Steve’s mouth, and pecks him then gently bites him. “I know.  Still.  Sorry.”

“Seriously though,” Steve says, letting his hands fall to Danny’s hips.  “Lets go get dinner.  I’m starving.”


End file.
